So recently I downloaded Deerhoofs "Friend Opportunity" and hated it...but its grown on me slowly the lyrics are so catchy and the adorable Japanese woman non-sensical crooning...damn it...its infected the minds of me and everyone around me...so much so that I've convinced my hip hop loving roomates to check them out with me! The show is May 17th at The Filmore! And only $16.50 a piece totally worth it...check out the lyrics for "Kidz are small" and a clip of the song live at the Ottobar in Baltimore!
If I were a man and you a dog
If I were a man and you a dog
I'd throw a stick for you
If I were a man and you a dog I'd throw a stick for you
If I were dog and you a man I'd throw a fit for you
If I were dog and you a man I'd throw a fit for you
Ba da do jeet do, Bo jee do jeet do...
If I were a man and you a dog
If I were a man and you a dog
I'd throw a stick for you
Ba da do jeet do, Bo jee do jeet do...
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
So I borrowed some Tweezers..whats the big deal?
OK...so we've all had bad roommates...you know the type:
1. Borrows your underwear without asking...and returns them dirty (don't worry I told her she could keep them)
2. Smokes pot in your bedroom...because you have a comfy chair in your room(stupid bitch...no wonder everyone used to think I was a pothead)
3. Brings home the whole "fleet" during fleet week and has a not a 3-some but a 5-some in the living room (I don't care if your bedroom is small...so not OK)
4. Does coke on your dinner plates and puts them back in the cabinets...so that when you use the plate to eat a turkey sandwich later...you are utterly stunned by your hyperactivity
5. Walks around with a strap on in the apartment when you have guests (awkward)
6. Leaves her sex toys on the floor when your parents are visiting that day (You try explaining what a silver bullet is to your mother and then you'll know why this sucks)
7. Naps in your bed because their bed is covered in crap (come on!)
OK...so clearly College and craigslist have been unkind to me in terms of roommates...but that's changed...I now live with two awesome roommates and long time friends! And I'm not just telling you how great they are because they're both going to read this at some point...;)
Anyway...so I did a bad thing...and my roommate left
me...actually not me but her tweezers a note...I mean I'm Italian! I had a stray eyebrow hair...it was an emergency! Her note (pictured) read "Dear Tweezers...I miss you. Come Home. --Laura" OK so I admitted it, returned them and she was cool with it. But then I worried am I a bad roommate...she doesn't seem to think so but...AOL seems to think so:
"Advice for Housemates
(i.e., those who share a bathroom and kitchen)
Health & Safety.
Items which may carry blood-borne germs -- razors, toothbrushes, tweezers -- which belong to your housemates are never to be borrowed, even with permission; and if accidentally contaminated, e.g. by dropping on the floor or in the sink or tub (anywhere with more germs), be a pal: take responsibility for sterilizing them. This requires immersion in bleach, alcohol, or boiling water. You never know who has an exotic virus. Be selfish -- don't share germs with anyone.
(EXOTIC VIRUSES!!...holy shit...could I have a weird new virus? I'll keep you posted..I'm not generally a hypochondriac...but we'll see)
Companion Animals.
Surprise Pets: Never come home with an unexpected animal and announce, "We have a new family member! Isn't it cute?" The "cutest" animals chew on furniture and the personal belongings of others. The "friendliest" pets might trigger someones asthma. The "softest" ones cause more hard house-cleaning for everyone. And so, new pets must be agreed on in advance.
(DAMN IT! I fucked up again...I brought home a Garden Gnome once and a traffic Cone...named Boris of course....but I swear they are so well behaved)
A Word About Sharing.
Food: To share or not to share? As always, no one should be forced to share, but if everyone is agreeable to sharing groceries, go for it.
Non-Consumable Items: Items in the common areas are generally to be shared. Fragile items are only to be looked at, but the TV, VCR, stereo, etc. are for shared use. Anything you own but don't want to share belongs in your room -- or notify your housemate, and notify him/her early, so you don't seem to be one of those fickle folks who are always making fresh changes.
House Plants: Your housemates plants are not trash cans. Nor are they ash trays. Gosh, some plants are so hypersensitive, I wouldn't even put water on them without asking....
OK...so I used the plant as an astray once...and I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I did it...and honestly...after the beer and cigarettes...I swear the plants flourished!
OK so thanks to AOL I realized I'm not the perfect roommate...and I know now borrowing tweezers is a no-no...but still...I'm not the worst roommate in the word...I mean refer to my list up top 1-7(http://users.aol.com/Relationshop/Neighbors.html)
1. Borrows your underwear without asking...and returns them dirty (don't worry I told her she could keep them)
2. Smokes pot in your bedroom...because you have a comfy chair in your room(stupid bitch...no wonder everyone used to think I was a pothead)
3. Brings home the whole "fleet" during fleet week and has a not a 3-some but a 5-some in the living room (I don't care if your bedroom is small...so not OK)
4. Does coke on your dinner plates and puts them back in the cabinets...so that when you use the plate to eat a turkey sandwich later...you are utterly stunned by your hyperactivity
5. Walks around with a strap on in the apartment when you have guests (awkward)
6. Leaves her sex toys on the floor when your parents are visiting that day (You try explaining what a silver bullet is to your mother and then you'll know why this sucks)
7. Naps in your bed because their bed is covered in crap (come on!)
OK...so clearly College and craigslist have been unkind to me in terms of roommates...but that's changed...I now live with two awesome roommates and long time friends! And I'm not just telling you how great they are because they're both going to read this at some point...;)
Anyway...so I did a bad thing...and my roommate left
me...actually not me but her tweezers a note...I mean I'm Italian! I had a stray eyebrow hair...it was an emergency! Her note (pictured) read "Dear Tweezers...I miss you. Come Home. --Laura" OK so I admitted it, returned them and she was cool with it. But then I worried am I a bad roommate...she doesn't seem to think so but...AOL seems to think so:"Advice for Housemates
(i.e., those who share a bathroom and kitchen)
Health & Safety.
Items which may carry blood-borne germs -- razors, toothbrushes, tweezers -- which belong to your housemates are never to be borrowed, even with permission; and if accidentally contaminated, e.g. by dropping on the floor or in the sink or tub (anywhere with more germs), be a pal: take responsibility for sterilizing them. This requires immersion in bleach, alcohol, or boiling water. You never know who has an exotic virus. Be selfish -- don't share germs with anyone.
(EXOTIC VIRUSES!!...holy shit...could I have a weird new virus? I'll keep you posted..I'm not generally a hypochondriac...but we'll see)
Companion Animals.
Surprise Pets: Never come home with an unexpected animal and announce, "We have a new family member! Isn't it cute?" The "cutest" animals chew on furniture and the personal belongings of others. The "friendliest" pets might trigger someones asthma. The "softest" ones cause more hard house-cleaning for everyone. And so, new pets must be agreed on in advance.
(DAMN IT! I fucked up again...I brought home a Garden Gnome once and a traffic Cone...named Boris of course....but I swear they are so well behaved)
A Word About Sharing.
Food: To share or not to share? As always, no one should be forced to share, but if everyone is agreeable to sharing groceries, go for it.
Non-Consumable Items: Items in the common areas are generally to be shared. Fragile items are only to be looked at, but the TV, VCR, stereo, etc. are for shared use. Anything you own but don't want to share belongs in your room -- or notify your housemate, and notify him/her early, so you don't seem to be one of those fickle folks who are always making fresh changes.
House Plants: Your housemates plants are not trash cans. Nor are they ash trays. Gosh, some plants are so hypersensitive, I wouldn't even put water on them without asking....
OK...so I used the plant as an astray once...and I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I did it...and honestly...after the beer and cigarettes...I swear the plants flourished!OK so thanks to AOL I realized I'm not the perfect roommate...and I know now borrowing tweezers is a no-no...but still...I'm not the worst roommate in the word...I mean refer to my list up top 1-7(http://users.aol.com/Relationshop/Neighbors.html)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
America the beautiful...and I'm not the father!
Ok...so I was chatting it up with some people in one of my grad school classes last night...and I swear it was like none of them had ever read a newspaper. One guy didn't know that France could elect Presidents(http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/28/world/europe/28france.html?_r=1&oref=slogin)....apparently he thought it was a monarchy for some reason because of that "Napoleon Guy"...so I changed the topic to sports thinking that would work with conversing with men...but apparently if its not football, baseball or b-ball it just doesn't count. So know one cared about Phelps record setting swim http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/28/sports/29cnd-swim.html?ref=sports
But I guess I shouldn't be so judgmental because they knew all sorts of things I know zilch about...for instance...they knew about this guy not being some woman's babies daddy...
But I guess I shouldn't be so judgmental because they knew all sorts of things I know zilch about...for instance...they knew about this guy not being some woman's babies daddy...
So wrong but I love it anyway...
So I'm a socially conscious person...I am I swear! And I have intense respect for the deaf community and Marlee Matson... but for some reason this recent Family Guy clip keeps me up at night laughing...
My Life as a Dancer...an Exotic Dancer....
So about 2 weeks ago I traveled to a faraway land to learn how to become an exotic dancer...Ok So it was just Boston...and I went there for a bachelorette, but pole dancing was involved!
It was surprisingly so much fun! Those Gypsy Rose chicks sure know how to party....the only problem...instead of taking aways tons of cash at a strip club I took away an injury instead.
Apparently according to my Podiatrist Dr, Brummer, injuring two small bones or rather inflammation of two small bones just below the toes is common for women who wear intense heels...especially strippers.
It was actually slightly embarrassing to tell him how I had injured myself...but hey there are far worse things...and I think I made his day. And really that's what its all about...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
