Working isn't for me

Dear Blog,

Here I am again looking at the walls of my cube and writing resignation letters in my mind. I mean really why work? That Rousseua philopher dude was right. He said that the reason we have propeerty today is because some dude long ago but a stake in some land and said this is mine...and people listened. CLEARLY we've all been the idiots told we have to work...and we've listened...but why?

I think I'm going to ponder this some more and look at alternative employement...circus clown? postal worker? Those sound good so far,

Love, This Jo

Indentured Servitude and a long abscence...

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry if you've felt abandoned these past few weeks but a lot has happened since I last wrote!!

Aside from having my iPod Stolen...the following experiences have occurred:

a) ruptured ovarian cyst....no worries I come equipped with 2 ovaries
b) I finally cleaned my room
c) was doing my laundry
d) would you believe my dog ate my keyboard...no...fine I don't have a dog but my Y key fell off again making typing difficult
e) I visited my parents from fathers day and still haven't recovered
f) Went to gay Pride...you have to love a culture that prides itself on scantily clad men, women on motorcycles, drag queens and drink specials...ahh drink specials how I love you so...especially when in drag...

OK but seriously the thing that has kept me away the most and perhaps is the most significant is this...I finally made up all of my Co-op shifts! Co-op you ask? Yes the Park Slope Food Co-op a.k.a modern slavery for organic food (www.foodcoop.com)

See In order to get cheap goods you have to work a shift every for weeks....but after you miss more than 1...for every time you miss one you owe two....so basically its like I've had a second job this month of June....but its over its finally over and I'm allowed to shop again! And I swear blog....if I stop writing again....it will be for something way better than the Food Coop...like Drag Queens...or Drink Specials!

Love Always,

This Jo

Working....and the point...

SO today my post is merely a rant...but also keen observations keep reading:

-Why are bosses such assholes sometimes?
a. They have a small dick
b. They aren't getting laid
c. They are fat, ugly, unattractive and balding
d. They frequently wear pleated pants
e. They're collegue is a lesbian who wears pants
f. all of the fucking above

Today is cleaarly an F day in my mind, but somedays I think male patterned insecurity is a lot like male pattern baldness. The more security/confidence you lose (e.g. hair) the more of a dick you are. Or really what you lack in girth or length you make up for in behavior.

Also why do short, fat, balding men, who are assholes, and wear pleated pants (no more pleats people!) think they can get any woman they want? Sometimes their just isn't enough money in the world or drinks in the bar for a women to get down with...well you know.

Ok enough of this for the day...

Ahh new york...why do people steal...and I want my IPOD BACK!!!

one more for get laid party - w4w

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Reply to: pers-351321658@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-06-13, 1:18PM EDT


to the person who went through my wallet and stole random shit:

I sincerely hope you enjoy my cancelled debit card, my ID featuring my beautiful self at age 16, and a gift card with no money on it. you missed another credit card, two monthly metrocards, and giftcards that were actually worth something. lesson: don't steal when you're drunk.

way to put a good face on the queer community. if you by any chance are feeling like the scum that you are and want to return my ID- i would walk away feeling lucky that I don't have to go to the DMV.

you've got some bad karma heading towards you.

Life without my IPOD...

So some snot nosed brat (possibly) lifted my IPOD this morning from underneath me...valuable lesson learned...never remove your IPOD. Always wear you IPOD at all times....when walking down stairs, peeing, entering subway stations, crossing streets, eating, reading, sleeping....keep it on....otherwise soem unsuspecting asshole will walk off with your entire music collection. If this where the 80's I would have seen the fucker grab my walman...that thing was the size of a frickin suitcase....alas it is gone...........

I do...and what everyone did at a wedding this weekend...

So I went to yet another wedding this weekend for my dear friends L & L by far the cutest, nicest and blondest couple ever. Too cute...

It was like a college reunion girls I haven't seen in 5 or 6 year partying together. The wedding started of beautiful...they wrote their own vows, it took place outside, the wedding march was a tasteful version of an outcast song, the flower girl was the cutest...they even had a Best Women and Men of honor instead of the traditional. Then on to the cocktail hour...I had 3 glasses of wine in a very, very short period of time...then a tasteful and excellent dinner, great speeches...lots and lots of dancing. All was well from 4pm till 1030p....with only a half hour to go...

-Shirts and ties came off on the dance floor in the 'dancing circle'
-Small and cute Sophia was tossed in the hair and crowd surfed...great idea right?
-Apple juice became an appropriate mixer for vodka
-The hookup potential for all was established
-a plan was made to continue drinking despite my then...9 drinks...(1 champagne 8 full glasses of wine)
-My boobs kept getting grabbed
-A girl was trampled by another when diving for the bouquet of flowers...literally tackled to the ground

SO after all of that we went back to the hotel changed clothes and hit up a bar for more drinking...glasses where broken I stole a glass of wine and walked out of the bar but not before by friend Annie convinced everyone we should go old school...and by that I mean 8th grade style and play truth or dare in her hotel room...here's what transpired:

-Guy drops draws and hangs out in boxers and tie
-cuddle fest happens with 6 people on bed
-the finer points of anal sex are discussed as a group
-group sex was then discussed
-then sex occurred in a stairwell...
-sex occurred on a crowded hotel room floor...
-a girl got fingered on said hotel floor (different girl...same guy?)
-massages...good ones
-singing
-3 18 packs where consumed...
-and two more bottles of wine...
-cops came...
-as did quite a few attendees of the wedding...

In short...I wish I remembered my camera because it was quite a wedding!!

-This Jo

Why drinking should be allowed on the job...

A. It makes me happy
B. The "Purple Lipstick" I get from wine isn't something I could every buy
C. Better than coffee...I'm far less hyper
D. I smile a lot more and that make the people around me less frightened
E. I have this really cute drawl when I drink...or I mean slur but seriously its cute
F. I'm much more flirtatious when I drink, which means I sell more ad space
G. Drinking is Good for the heart
H. If I drink enough some luppy slup might get lucky in the copy room
I. When I drink nothings funnier than photocopies of my butt
J. I look cute hugging a barrel of wine



I love California wine....................................................